nowhere to go but up

well, the bright spot in my current self made predicament is that one day while teaching yoga and/or helping to support others through lowfat raw food transitions I will absolutely know what it feels like to hit bottom and feel as though you have lost control.

recently, fueled by work stress and overall stress related to my leap of faith, I've found cravings for really unhealthy foods uncontrollable.  I know the key elements for a happy, healthy life for me are water, yoga and fruit, in that order I'd say. seems I need daily yoga to inspire me to immerse myself in the fruitarian way and without it, I stray. And no I did not mean for that to rhyme.

But as I sit here, or lie here, with a mid-back spasm of my own making, feeling bloated, acidic and utterly awful, I know how I got here.  I also know what I want, what it takes and how I feel in that place.  in some ways it's a catch 22 because i need daily yoga to keep me on the nutritional path in which I thrive, but until I am on that path, i never feel energetic or well enough to do yoga, and I also never feel satiated, for obvious reasons. it's like being stoned, where you eat th crap you want but still keep coming up with new cravings, never feeling like you hit the spot. that's how I feel lately.

this is a valuable experience for me though, i see that clearly.  it is also a turning point. and with the way I feel right now, in this moment and in general, i know what I must do; I must put my love for my body first, I must make eating a spiritual act requiring beauty and life force in all that I eat and drink, and I must embrace a daily practice to carry me from here to there, lovingly, joyfully.

the life i am creating now, through knowing this and finally honoring its importance, will bring happiness and bliss beyond measure. fleeting sensual pleasures cannot replace these truths; we are only meant to eat fresh, ripe, juicy fruits, daily yoga is  tonic for the nervous system and an ancient form of self healing that always delivers what it promises and whatever you ask of it, and the time is always NOW to do your best for yourself, to love yourself.

water, yoga, fruit. this is how i will begin each and every day. i know i will bloom in this like a rose.:)