welcoming the changes

ah change, the one constant and something with which we must all contend.  sometimes I love change and dive into it with abandon. sometimes I loathe change and resent that it takes me beyond my illusion of control and out of my comfort zone. fie! but ultimately, it always abolishes stagnation and creates growth, I know this.  once again, I find myself feeling claustrophobic within this redhead persona I created and have lived in for about 6 years now.  it's gorgeous, I get compliments on it every day, but I miss my natural palette. my last attempt to reclaim it ended in such hair damage I went back to henna red purely for the hair healing.  now I am doing it myself, for now anyway, and found I could bump my dark auburm tresses to a fun apricot color. after giving my hair time to rest I will perhaps try the Luminizor my prior hairdresser used toget it to a strawberry blonde...and then I'm almost there, with thickness and waves in tact, back to looking and feeling like the natural ME. ;)

it might sound like a trivial thing over which to obsess, but for me it is symbolic of many aspects, of my self and my life.  redhead me is fun, but it's like wearing a costume in some ways.  blonde me is just me...relaxed, beautiful, natural and easy. and more and more I crave nothing but simplicity and ease in my life, in all things. i no longer feel the need to rage against the machine, create a persona or use energy for anything beyond living and enjoying life in the moment. I want my surroundings to be clean, light and simple. I want my morning routine to be uplifting, inspiring and simple. I want my prosperity flow to be independently generated, abundant, joyful and to come to me with great ease...I want to float with the stream, not swim against it.

even something as superficial as cleaning out my car has yielded a wonderful feeling of overall lightness, and a desire to let that energy spread throughout my life. i literally pulled about 50 pounds worth of crap from that little car and lightened my load...how liberating! and now everything from the size of my purse to my head needs to be simplified...let's see what happens. ;)